Wednesday, March 4, 2009

How To Get Back With An Ex After An Affair

    Is it possible to save a relationship even after you have cheated? Many people feel that having an affair automatically kills the relationship. If both sides are willing to work very hard, I believe saving a relationship is possible. Restoring trust is the key.


    If you've had an affair, the "how to get back with an ex" question requires changes in attitude and actions. By cheating on your mate, you built an attitude which allowed you to go astray. This may be the result of a fundamental problem at the relationship's core. But this problem can be fixed.


    What was the problem that caused you to cheat? Could the sex have been too little or too boring, or was she too busy for you in general? Whatever the problem, you would not have had an affair if the relationship was sound. Look within yourself as the first step to figure out how to fix the problem. Remember, restoring trust means to mend the basic problems that are undermining the relationship. Counseling can be a valuable step in this process.


    The problem of how to get back with an ex after an affair also requires action to make things right. Understanding our emotions and thoughts are only a part of the solution. The secret in saving a relationship is revealed by doing the right things.


    One of the biggest steps you can take is to make small promises and keep them. If you promise to walk the dog after supper every night, then do it, and do it consistently. As you prove yourself with small promises, slowly but surely a sense of confidence will emerge which will help heal the relationship.


    Your mate is going to need reassurances over time that you have indeed changed. This means apologizing more than once! Even though your ex or mate will comment on the infidelity and lack of trust, you must remain patient. Forgiving you will take time, and again, patience is a virtue.


    However, you don't have to remain guilty forever. If your ex or mate constantly sends you on a guilt trip, and the trust level does not increase, your relationship may be in trouble. How to get back with an ex after an affair takes time and commitment. So, if the trust factor is getting stronger, you both may overcome your indiscretion and build a stronger relationship together.


   Saving a relationship after infidelity can be possible.  If you can't stop thinking about your ex, then learn what steps you can take to get your lover back.

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